A Kind Word

I am not sure if most people realize how far a kind word can go to brighten someone’s day.  I have been contemplating this recently and have grown in my understanding of this in some pretty painful ways.  I suppose you could say I have developed a philosophy around this over the years – although I didn’t really realize it.

I have long tried to be kind to people – perhaps it is because I worked in retail doing customer service for years.  I have had my share of mad people yelling at me for things that weren’t my fault (and some that were) and have seen the gratefulness in people’s smiles when you are kind and extend grace to them. 

I have come to see another side of kindness the last few years as a single person.  Having never really been alone as much as I am now – I have a whole new appreciation for the kindness of strangers.  For a long time I would stop at Starbucks simply to have someone say nice things to me and wish me a nice day.  My favorite Starbucks woman called me “sweetie” and always made me feel like she was just waiting to have me stop by.  Often that would be the only interaction with people I would have for an entire weekend – including church.

I try to treat people with kindness and have found that I can get more done being kind even when I am frustrated.  Answering the same question fourteen different times can get annoying but I am not gaining anything by making the asker feel stupid for asking and perhaps by extending kindness in my reply I make them smile. 

Having spent a lot of energy over the years being intentionally kind., it is difficult for me to find out that not everyone likes me for one reason or the other.  Perhaps they misunderstood something I did and formed a judgment, perhaps I was having a bad day that caused them to form an opinion…perhaps I didn’t live up to some sort of standard they have in their head.

This is incredibly hard for me to deal with.  I am deeply saddened when someone feels I have treated them badly and I have a hard time remembering the good in me.  The ultimate people pleaser and co-dependent – it is hard for me when people are disappointed in me.

This is when I have to remind myself that it is okay if not everyone likes me.  I don’t need to spend hours beating myself up and analyzing my every move – walking on eggshells trying not to offend.  My focus is still on treating people with kindness and hoping to brighten at least one person’s day every day.  If I have a bad day today, then get up tomorrow and do better.  After all, as Anne of Green Gables says, “Tomorrow is another day with no mistakes in it yet.”